Ahhh, Wednesday...time for some humor!

As Seen On Church Bulletin Boards:
*** "People are like tea bags--you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."

*** "Dusty Bibles lead to dirty lives."

*** "How will you spend eternity? Smoking or Non-smoking?"

*** "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

*** "Forbidden fruit creates many jams."

Unusual Transfer
After the service a young couple talked to me about joining the church. I hadn't met the husband before, and I asked what church he was transferring from. After a short hesitation, he replied, "I am transferring from the Municipal Golf Course."

Forgiveness?
A story is about old Jack and old John, two board members of the First Church of Sheboygen, who were always at odds with each other. They were constantly at each others' throat especially in board meetings. When one of them said "yea," you could be assured that the other would say "nay."

So, one day old Jack dies and arrives at the pearly gate. He notices how St. Peter asks everyone a question, before they proceeded. When it was his turn, St. Peter said: "Hi Jack, to see if you qualify for heaven, I need to ask you to spell Jesus for me." "That's easy," says Jack, and goes: "J-E-S-U-S." Peter said: "great, you're in, but could you do me a small favor and take over here for a while; I just need to check on something. I'llbe back"

Jack didn't mind and asked everyone in line to spell Jesus. Just then, old John was coming through the line. "What are you doing here?" asked old John. Said Jack; "O, I am just filling in for St. Peter asking everybody to spell a word before they can pass through." "O yeah, what's the word?" asked John. After thinking for a moment Jack said: "spell Albuquerque!"

Membership...
An impoverished old man applied for membership in a rich church. The pastor attempted to put him off with all kinds of evasive remarks. The old man, becoming aware that he was not wanted, finally said that he would pray on it. Several days later he returned. "Well," asked the pastor, "did the Lord give you a message?" Yes Sir, he did" was the old man's answer. "He told me it wasn't any use. He said, 'I've been trying to get in that same church myself for ten years, and I still can't make it.'"