Monday Comedy
"The One whose throne is in heaven sits laughing. . ." (Psalms 2:4)
A man: God, how much is a million dollars to you?
God: It is but a penny.
A man: God, how long is a million years to you?
God: It is but a second.
A man: God, could you please give me a penny?
God: Sure, just a second.
What are the three similarities between praying and kissing?
. . . whether you do it with eyes open or closed
. . . whether you moan and groan in agreement
. . . whether you do it with tongues or not
Today's Music: Peanuts
Church Bulletion Bloopers - Enjoy!!!
* Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.
* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
* The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
* Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
* Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mother's Club. All ladies wishing to become "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
* Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
* The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy."
* Today... Christian Youth Fellowship Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
* During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A.B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
* The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
~Lost Man~
A man had been
lost and walking in the desert for about five
days. One hot day, he comes to the home of a
preacher. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the
house and collapses on the doorstep. The preacher
takes him in and nurses him back to health.
Feeling
better, the man asks the preacher for directions
to the nearest town. The preacher tells him the
directions, and offers to lend him his horse to
make it. The preacher says, "However, there
is a special thing about this horse. You have to
say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make
it stop."
Anxious
to get to town, the man says, "Sure, okay,"
and gets on the horse. He says, "Thank God"
and sure enough, the horse starts walking. A bit
later he says louder, "Thank God, Thank God,"
and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really
brave, the man says, "Thank God! Thank God!
THANK GOD!" and the horse is soon up to a
full run!
About
then he realizes he's heading for a huge cliff
and yells, "Whoa!" But the horse
doesn't even slow! It's coming up REAL QUICK and
he's doing everything he can to make the horse
stop. "Whoa, stop, hold on!" Finally he
remembers, "AMEN!!!"
The
horse stops a mere two inches from the cliff's
edge, almost throwing him over its head. The man,
panting and heart racing, wipes the sweat from
his face and leans back in the saddle. "Oh!"
he said, gasping for air, "Thank God."
- AUTHOR UNKNOWN -
posted by Chris @ 12:41 PM
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