Modesty & the Christian Woman

This is a topic I decided to research for my own knowledge and for the other women out there who are trying to understand their call to modesty. In a world where even ABC News referred to the modern female fashions as "hooker wear," we as Christians must take a stand and do our part "that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world" Phil 2:15 WEB ."

"Modesty comes from a Godly heart, not a checklist. Get the internal right, and the external will follow. "

"The reason we see less and less modesty today--or more and more immodesty--on commercials, advertising, and prime-time television is that more and more people today are simply intemperate, or to be more specific, unchaste, and since attire expresses an interior disposition, it should come as no surprise that immodesty of attire has become somewhat the norm. If a person is unrestrained within, she will be unrestrained without. The sexually promiscuous will dress the part. So too, the emotionally insecure girl who has a need to be desired by men will dress in a way that will turn their gaze towards her. "

MODESTY:No matter how we approach this topic, we have to understand that modesty must always begin on the inside. Outward apparel is important, but it is not the be-all and end-all of modesty. Modesty begins by putting others first, by dying to self and loving the Body of Christ. Girls, when you pull on that tight sweater that amplifies your bosom and reveals your bare midriff, are you putting your Christian brothers before yourself? When you sit down and let your skirt ride up to reveal your thighs and underclothing, are you helping your Christian brothers "keep a covenant with [their] eyes" (Job 31:1)? The man who "looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart," according to our Lord in Matthew 5:28. Are you laying a trap for this lust and adultery by the way you dress? You may respond, "Well, I am not responsible for the way boys think. That is their fault if they can't keep their minds off my body." Dear sister, you are grievously mistaken. "Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness" (Proverbs 30:20).

Richard Baxter, the prolific Puritan, wrote,

If it [the manner of dress] tend to the ensnaring of the minds of the beholders in procacious [shameful], lustful, wanton passions, though you say you intend it not, it is your sin, that you do that which probably will procure it, yea, that you did not your best to avoid it... And you must not lay a stumbling block in their way, nor blow up the fire of their lust, nor make your ornaments snares; but you must walk among sinful persons as you would do with a candle among straw or gunpowder, or else you may see the flame which you would not foresee, when it is too late to quench it.

God designed man to enjoy and appreciate a woman's body -- more specifically, his wife's body. The Song of Solomon is a breathtaking tribute to the beauties of human love and the gifts of femininity and masculinity. Proverbs exhorts a husband to enjoy his wife's body, which is his own and belongs to the gaze of no other man (Prov. 5:19). When you wear low-cut necklines, you are offering to the public what belongs to your husband alone to enjoy. Will your husband be happy to know that countless men before him have enjoyed beauties that should "ravish" him alone? It is the "strange woman" of Scripture who attires herself as "an harlot" (Prov. 7:10). She does it to trap the foolish man who is easily turned aside by her wiles. Cover yourself, ladies! Do it because you fear God and love His commandments. Do it because it is the "more excellent way." Do it because it is a way to love your brothers in Christ and put them first. Do it because it is a protection given to us by a loving Father.

"As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion" (Prov. 11:22). Let us be discreet, which means "showing discernment or judgment in the guidance of one's own speech and action; judicious, prudent, circumspect, cautious." If you would like young men to treat you with discretion ("not rude, not doing anything inconsistent with delicacy towards a female"), you must deserve it by dressing modesty and chastely, according to the precepts of God’s Word. You have liberty to be creative in your choice of styles, but you do not have liberty to sin or to cause others to sin ("God forbid!"--Romans 6). You have the freedom to choose colors that suit you, but you are not "free" to dress ostentatiously with the intent of attracting the notice of others by "costly apparel" or garments that are ill-suited for the occasion (no mink coats at the grocery store; no soiled gardening clothes in God's House). Your freedom is bounded by the Word of God. John Piper writes,

[M]any women (and men) today … judge [freedom] on the basis of immediate sensations or unrestrained license or independence. But true freedom takes God's reality and God's purpose for creation into account and seeks to fit smoothly into God's good design. Freedom does include doing what we want to do. But the mature and wise woman does not seek this freedom by bending reality to fit her desires. She seeks it by being transformed in the renewal of her desires to fit in with God's perfect will (Romans 12:2). The greatest freedom is found in being so changed by God's spirit that you can do what you love to do and know that it conforms to the design of God and leads to life and glory.

There is room within God's boundaries for the old-fashioned Romantics who love full, sweeping skirts and for the practical ladies who prefer more tailored lines. But there is no room for licentiousness. There is no room to stumble your brothers. There is no room to parade about in gaudy apparel designed to draw attention to your status or your feminine "assets." And mothers, please take care in how you dress before your children. It grieves me to see many older women who have apparently decided, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." I don't know what is more distressing: the young, beautiful girl in tight pants and cropped shirt or her mother, following in her wake in an attempt to look "hip." Let us be sober, dressing as befits our age and station in the world and in the Church. This is even more important than ever as our culture continues to slide down the drain. We are called to be "set apart" and different. Today it is nearly impossible to tell many Christian ladies from their worldly counterparts. And if you feel that this intrudes upon your "liberty" or "freedom," please consider that your "freedom" to dress immodestly is eating away at the freedoms of modest women to be treated with respect by men and not as mere sexual objects for sport or jest. Let's let the men be men, and let us be thoroughly feminine, from the inside out. It's not only God-honoring; it is beautiful and gratifying! I think artist Tasha Tudor puts it best:

Why do women want to dress like men when they're fortunate enough to be women? Why lose our femininity, which is one of our greatest charms? We get much more accomplished by being charming than we would by flaunting around in pants and smoking. I'm very fond of men. I think they're wonderful creatures. I love them dearly. But I don't want to look like one. When women gave up their long skirts, they made a grave error. Things half seen are so much more mysterious and delightful. Remember the term "a neatly turned ankle"? Think of the thrill that gentlemen used to get if they caught even a glimpse of one. Now women go around in their union suits. And what a multitude of sins you could cover up with a long skirt if you had piano legs.

Dress Often Determines Your Mood and Performance
In the same vein, dress as nicely as you can. Schlepping around the house in untidy, dowdy, unkempt outfits is no better than following current fads. You do not inspire your girls or create a vision of womanhood that gives the world pause. No matter what your income, you can afford to create lovely, feminine clothing that clearly declares your role to all who see you. You are not a shabby housefrau but a radiant queen who glories in her womanly realm. And don't save your prettiest clothes for company or eating out. Who deserves your modest beauty more than your own family? As Richard Wells wrote in 1891,

Never let your husband have cause to complain that you are more agreeable abroad than at home; nor permit him to see in you an object of admiration as respects your dress and manners, when in company, while you are negligent of both in the domestic circle. Many an unhappy marriage has been occasioned by neglect in these particulars. Nothing can be more senseless than the conduct of a young woman, who seeks to be admired in general society for her politeness and engaging manners, or skill in music, when, at the same time, she makes no effort to render her home attractive; and yet that home whether a palace or a cottage, is the very centre of her being -- the nucleus around which her affections should resolve, and beyond which she has comparatively small concern.

I find that putting on a lovely outfit first thing in the morning helps me set the tone for the entire day. Who says lovely outfits are to be reserved for "special" occasions? Dress as if every day is special (and it is!). And wear what is appropriate for the job at hand. A ready stock of serviceable aprons is great for kitchen tasks, and sturdy "housedresses" are super for scrubbing floors, straightening rooms and even gardening. Then make a point of attiring for the family meal in something a bit dressier. This is your family's time to feast together, sharing the day's happenings and enjoying one another's company and conversation. Help to make it fine by dressing beautifully for those who count most--your husband, your children and the Body of Christ.

Sisters, let us be modest! Let us be women! It is time to embrace again the unchanging commands and precepts of Scripture with giddy abandon. There is joy in modesty! This is not about soulless rituals or rigid rulemaking. This is not about trying to win "brownie points" with God (our works never justify us; instead, they flow out of our love for Christ). This is about glorying in God's distinctions and embracing them for their loveliness. We should strive to make modesty so attractive and soul nourishing that the world looks on in wonder and even jealousy. Prick their consciences by covering what God has made special and private and enjoying the very fact that they are private! "The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple. The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever: the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. Moreover by them is thy servant warned: and in keeping of them there is great reward" (Psalm 19:7-11).

exerpt from Ladies Against Feminism